Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals…except the weasel.
They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. Thank you, steal again. I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
- We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.
- I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
- I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.
We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.
Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie "The Never Ending Story."
- Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly" and replace "dog" with "son."
- A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice.
- I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about! I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Here's to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life's problems.
I hope I didn't brain my damage. I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Fire can be our friend; whether it's toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!
Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I work, I work. When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you're experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box…
You don't win friends with salad. Bart, with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love! I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. Homer no function beer well without.
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid.
